Fall In Love . . .with your baby
February 13, 2014
Do you remember falling in love? The excitement of seeing that special someone? Your heart speeding up? Remember catching each others’ eyes? The way it felt when your skin touched? The vulnerability you allowed yourself?
As your relationship developed both of you revealed your flaws because you let your guards down. Sometimes you got angry but you recovered because love created a place of safety, forgiveness and acceptance, unconditionally.
This happens with babies. We have to negotiate our time and space to accommodate this feeling. Our hearts have unending abundance. There is an excitement and fear because we did not realize our capacity to feel such profound emotions.
Welcome to parenting. This journey is all about falling in love. Love can be wonderful and scary, frustrating and exhilarating.
Fall in love amidst the chaos of a life that is no longer yours alone. You find that you have lost control of your environment. You don’t have time for yourself, your home is a disaster. When did you last shower? Did you eat breakfast? What happened to your body? Will you ever make love again?
But then you catch your baby’s eyes and all the mess fades away, if only momentarily.
Your baby doesn’t care about dust bunnies and dishes piled high. She simply needs you.
Remember in the early days with your partner wanting to be together constantly? This is how your baby feels. She wants you to hold her and feed her, to talk to her and to touch her. Your baby does not want to leave your side.
As you fell in love with your significant other there were times of uncertainty. If you put limitations on your time together would that make you feel secure or insecure?
Babies feel the same. Putting limitations on touch, holding and feeding can make a baby feel unsettled. She may build up defense mechanisms. Allow yourself to dive deep into this new relationship.
In this new phase of your life you will find you tap into your intuition. Trust this gift. Listen to your baby and listen to your heart.
Life is messy. It is speckled with moments of great amazement and awe but mostly it is ordinary. Life with a new baby can be overwhelming all of the time but after an adjustment period it will be mostly ordinary. You will find the comfort of this new kind of love extraordinary.
Here are some strategies to help you enjoy this new chapter of your life:
~Talk to your baby, tell her your life story – she loves the sound of your voice
~Ask for help – and accept it!
~Tell people honestly what you need: food (prepared), to clean your house, to hold your baby while you sleep or shower
~Sleep when your baby sleeps – yes, take naps when the sun is shining
~Wear your baby – this can let you move about while still keeping her happy on your body
~Keep diapers and changing gear in more than one place – the nursery, your bedroom, the living room – so you don’t have to travel
~Set up nursing stations – a glass of water for you, snacks, a burp cloth in various areas
~Put an outgoing message on all your communications – “Hello, thank you for contacting the Smiths, we are busy bonding with our baby, please leave a message and we will call you back when we get a chance.”
Be vulnerable, take emotional risks, fall in love.
The Things I Carry
February 23, 2011
These are the things I carry:
My wallet, at least one lipstick, keys that now have a key card and at least
two obsolete keys. I sometimes carry a small purse, sometimes one larger,
just recently I stopped carrying diapers and wipes. I occasionally carry a
child, I carry a bag for work with an organizer full of handouts and
breastfeeding information. I have a bag of finger cots for testing a baby’s
suck, I carry nipple shields. I often carry a scale for weighing babies before
and after nursing to prove to mom’s that they do have milk or to
understand why a baby is fussy all the time. In my head I carry milk
storage guidelines which I can rattle off but I keep a printed copy for the
parents I see. In my pockets I carry super heroes and fairy dust. I carry
secrets told to me by my children, my other family members, not Rob – he
doesn’t seem to like the concept of secrets. I carry secrets from the moms I
meet, I know who had abortions, I carry milk in my breasts, I carry the
memory of the babies who died in my belly, I carry the feeling of birthing
my three children, I carry the wisdom of my mother and I carry the grief of
her loss. I carry words to songs in my head, I carry the residue of
secondhand smoke in my childhood lungs, I carry the secrets of growing up
in an alcoholic family. I carry a light inside that my mother never let me
forget was bright. I carry love, fear, joy. I carry hair ties.
mamamilkandme 