March 18, 2013

The question of co-sleeping comes up often. It can be controversial. There are heated debates about it.

The other day I asked my three children what they remember about co-sleeping and how it made them feel.


I did not ask them all together. I had three isolated conversations with them. Each was brief.

 I first asked Finn, my youngest.



He is seven years old.  About 80percent of the time Rob and I wake up with Finn in our bed even though he goes to sleep in his own bed. I asked him why he likes to sleep with us and he told me that he feels warm and cozy and it helps you if you are scared. He told me he feels safe.


Phoebe is 17 years old. She is a senior in high school. This sophisticated New Yorker travels all over Manhattan and Brooklyn on her own. She went to Ghana with her school for Spring Break. Phoebe flew down to North Carolina on her own to visit family. She is excited to go away to college in the fall. I asked her what she thinks of co-sleeping. She does not particularly remember co-sleeping as a baby and young child but she will climb in bed with me on the rare occasion that Rob is away. She says she feels safer.


Later I asked Chloe, my 12-year-old what she feels about co-sleeping. Without missing a beat she told me it feels safe. There you have it from the mouth of real life co-sleepers they feel safe.


The truth of the matter is that when each one of them was a baby I felt safer having them in my bed, close by so I could hear them breathe and I could feed them.

We all kept each other safe.


3 Responses to “Safe”

  1. Liz Taub Says:

    My 14 year old son, when asked the same question, said it made him feel more secure. I loved co-sleeping and feel it helped maintain our close relationship with our sons.

  2. Norma Ross Says:

    I love this! Thank you! Bed sharing with my Breastfeeding babies was the only way I got any sleep! It did feel safer! They left on their own at the age of 3.5. Even now, they sometimes come in. It’s natural.

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